I admit, I was quite embarassed

Warning: This post refers to the pectorally located ladyparts and their "containers", which will furthermore be referred to as the "ladies" and the "Support System For Pectoral Lady Parts" (SSfPLP).

Let me first say that I need to admit something. I have always heard stories of the "changes" that occur with a body after baby and nursing, but kind of laughed them off with a nervous laughter because, of course that kind of thing will never happen to me?!

This summer, I was still nursing Hunter. This summer, I went to a number of weddings. This summer I had a nice new black dress which I could, conveniently, pull to one side to allow access for my young pup. This summer, I needed a new SSfPLP because the white one I used, just wouldn't do with the dress. This summer I was unsure of the situation that would follow the "weaning" and so instead of purchasing a number of SSfPLPs for a ridiculous sum, I would just purchase one that would suit just fine and go with the black dress. Post-weaning, I did not purchase any others because I (ahem) refuse to believe that this (ahem) situation (ahem) is permanent. So, thus, I had only one decent, non-sport SSfPLP. Fine, no problem. I looked after it well (or so I thought).

I was driving home from Christmas dinner (a good four months post-purchase)when I first felt it. Some kind of familiarly-unfamiliar leaking sensation on the lower right. It would appear that my SSfPLP had some sort of an oily gel substance to assist with the (ahem) outward appearance (cough) that decided to... uhhh... leave its contained state. So, the SSfPLP is clearly no longer wearable, despite my attempts leading to the staining of a perfectly good shirt.

Yesterday, I went out with a friend to try on a bridesmaid outfit. Yahoo!! Well, knowing that my black SSfPLP was unwearable due to potential further stainage, I pulled out pretty much the only other one that I have the white-stretched-out-worn-nearly-every-day-for-over-a-year nursing one.

Stop. right there. Okay, call me an idiot. Get it over with. I, clearly, did NOT think about it. Okay. done? Thanks. I feel better. Now, let's move on.

So, my dear friend pulls out the top and asks me to try it on so she can see what it looks like. I emphasize that I hope and pray that the "situation" is different with the "ladies" come summer... I put it on. It's gorgeous. I love it. It's cool comfy and all that. However, the problem lies in the fact that I, the idiot, is wearing "the white-stretched-out-worn-nearly-every-day-for-over-a-year nursing" SSfPLP! What was I thinking? Idiot. So, there in clear daylight you have the clips, which are not useful in my current state, nor are they in the least bit attractive (let's face it, they never were... except for Hunter) and to be honest, there is some... uhhh.... extra. fabric. evidently wanting to say "hello". Mortal embarassment? No, not quite. But I did feel the need to clearly point it out to all ladies present in the changeroom just so that they can see what a cheap shmuck I am and laugh, in case they hadn't already noticed. Yes, I use humour as a defense mechanism, okay? I like it! I'm just glad that, at least, I had the kid with me... as further evidence (to the fact that I have lost a few brain cells)!

Again, I need to say that of course, that kind of thing.. you know the "southward migration" of the "ladies" would never happen to me! The "wind-sock-ish-ness"? But, hey, ladies... it's not permanent, right?!! Please tell me it's not!

Well, all said and done there, I headed over to the store where you buy these SSfPLP things because we just all evidenced that I do need another one. They're on sale. Great! So, I proceed to try on about ten and purchase... one. ONE! Because I only need one? Because I only want one? Because I'm too cheap to spend another $9.61 on an SSfPLP because, please tell me, it's not permanent! And just so you know, I bought one with some room to "grow".
Just. in. case.